Taking Care of You

In the 3rd chapter of Peter Walsh's book Enough Already!: Clearing Mental Clutter to Become the Best You he looks at clearing the clutter from family relationships and finding time to be together. The part that struck me was what he had to say about taking care of yourself so that you can be the best partner and parent you can be.

If we keep in mind that we are modeling adulthood for our children it really puts things in perspective. Are we showing our kids how to balance the role of parent with our individual needs?

Yes, there is self sacrifice involved in parenting but too much without taking time for ourselves can hurt the entire family. We need to find time for our marriage, friends and our own physcial and mental health.

Peter says, "Make no mistake! Being with your children is no excuse for letting the world they live in and the parents they love fall apart before their very eyes." Our children are our priority but they can not be the sole focus!

My Mom always stressed to me the importance of taking care of myself and not neglecting my needs entirely due to the kids. I also read a book when I was pregnant for the first time called On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep (On Becoming. . .)">. In this book the author stresses that the most important relationship in your child's life is the one between his parents. Taking time out to be alone and time to spend with your spouse without the kids is an important component of being a good parent.

When helping someone declutter I always like to begin with the master bedroom. It's the center of your relationship with your spouse and where you should be able to go to recharge yourself. First clear out anything that keeps you from relaxing. Preserve the sanctity of this room by not housing anything that doesn't belong. Be the gate keeper. While the kids and their toys may find their way into your room be sure to start young teaching them that your room is not a playground or a second sleeping place for them. By doing this you will create for yourself and your spouse a space that you can go to refresh yourselves and spend quality time together. This alone will help you to be a better you and a better parent.

By balancing your parenting and personal needs you will be taking an important step toward ending the clutter that gets in the way of the vision you have for your family.