Relationship Clutter

Relationship Clutter

Chapter one of Peter Walsh’s Enough Already!: Clearing Mental Clutter to Become the Best You focuses on clearing our relationships of clutter to make them the best they can be.

The baggage that we bring with us from our childhood and past relationships takes the form of mental clutter that can damage our current relationships. On top of this pile the accumulation of grievances and past transgression of this current relationship as well as the clutter of every day stress and demands adds up to a lot of mental clutter! Clearing this mental clutter and focusing on the present relationship and its value is what he discusses in this chapter. I highly recommend you read this chapter for your self. I feel certain that as I did you will find great insight on how to be the partner you want to be and how to keep your own clutter from damaging your relationship.

The part of this chapter that spoke most to me was about how we can become so consumed with our list of “To Dos” that we neglect our relationships. Why would we work so hard at being good at our jobs and parenting our children and not put in the necessary work to develop and maintain our relationships? When in fact it is our relationship with our spouse that sets the tone for all the other relationships in our lives.

Again I am drawn back to my focus of being present and doing less to be more. With all of the demands of daily life cluttering up our minds it is easy to loose focus on our partners. For example have you ever found yourself so focused on your daily routine that when your partner speaks to you, you tune out what they are saying, thinking about what you’ve still got to do and how you are going to complete everything in the time you have left in the day? Or are you so focused on making your own point that you are too busy formulating what you will say next to really hear what they are saying? Being distracted by TV, computers, cell phones and other things also keeps us from being present and communicating with our families.

Time needs to be spent focusing solely on our loved ones without distractions. Not only the ones we can see but also the mental chatter that we can’t. Try using those communication skills you’ve read about, Eye contact, body language etc as well and clearing your mind of clutter when talking with your spouse. Don’t think about what you will say next but about what they are saying only. This is tough, I know I have been trying it and it takes work! But the reward is great, truly listening is a selfless act that leaves us feeling connected to the other person and invested in their feelings. Try it and let me know how it works for you!

The next chapter deals with work and setting priorities. I can’t wait! Hope you are reading along and if not it’s not too late to join me.

Valerie

As promised I have started reading Enough Already!: Clearing Mental Clutter to Become the Best You by Peter Walsh. If you haven’t gotten a copy I suggest you do as I have found so much to write about in the introduction alone. Mr. Walsh encourages us to look at how not only the clutter in our homes but also the clutter in our minds affects our daily lives. This book is really in line with what I have been trying to accomplish in my own life - stopping all the useless mental chatter, and de-cluttering my mind to be open to new relationships, ideas and opportunities.

“Stuff” seems to be the biggest hurdle in getting organized inside and out. We acquire certain things because we believe that if we have them we will be “happier”, “thinner”, “more attractive” or “more likeable”. Generally all we really get from those things is something to trip over, dust or worry about.

I suggest that we think long and hard before we get any more “stuff” that we think we need. First of all decide if it is in line with your values and what you want out of your life. Mr. Walsh talks of creating a vision for your life and then making sure that what we own, how we interact with others and what we value is in line with that vision.

My favorite quote from the introduction is this “The only path is the one you design. The only obstacles are the ones you buy, create or imagine.” Something to think about!

Valerie

Mom! Where’s my bathing suit?

That’s the question I always get the minute we step foot inside our vacation accommodations. For an organized person traveling with children can be more than stressful. From remembering to pack for everyone to keeping your hotel room neat and organized there seems to be quite a few challenges. With Spring break soon ahead many are planning family vacations. Whether you are driving or flying, packing is always an issue especially if you have children. Having everything you will need on a trip and maximizing your packing space are opposing forces!

I love to travel. I don’t love living out of a suitcase. It seems no matter how hard you try it always ends up a mess by the end of the trip. I am guilty of packing too much. So trying to cram all the things I think I will need into a suitcase that never seems big enough, has always been a challenge.

My favorite packing tool by far is the zip lock bag. I use them in every size from snack bags to 2.5 gallon size. Using plastic bags helps me to be able to pack more in less space and keeps the suitcases organized.

For my own things I use mostly 2.5 gallon bags. In each bag I put an entire outfit, if it is bulky, for smaller items I will group them together in bags. For example I put my workout clothes, sports bras, shorts and tanks in one bag. I use another for underclothes and socks. The smaller bags are for accessories. After dropping in the jewelry, belt, scarf etc. that I will need for an outfit, I seal the bag and put it inside the larger bag with the outfit. Take the guess work out of getting dressed by always writing the contents of the bag on the outside with a sharpie. These bags are also great for shoes. You can see what pair is inside and keep the dirt off of everything else in the bag.

For kids this system works especially well. For small children you may only need one gallon bags for each outfit. Put everything from socks to hats to hair bows needed for each outfit in one bag. Then simply pull out that bag and you will have everything you need to dress your baby for that day. Dirty clothes can be put right back into the bag at the end of the day. Older kids can dress themselves using this system. Write the day of the week on the outside of the bag and then have the child take out that bag and get dressed.

After you fill each bag press all the air out before sealing. Then stand the bags up on the end and put them one behind the other in the order you will be using them. Laying them on top of each other only causes them to slide around. When you arrive home simply take the bags with dirty clothes and empty them into the laundry. Store the bags inside the suitcase for your next trip.

Try this out next time you travel and let me know how it works! Hopefully you will have more time to enjoy your vacation because your suitcase will be so organized!
Happy Organized Travels!
Valerie
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